6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
