im drinking this country out of the recession.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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