yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
