My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
