nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have fence marks all over my body
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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