My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm bleeding and have questions
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
