the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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