So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
