Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
