I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize