I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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