Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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