Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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