The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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