walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My feet surprised me
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