I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wannas sexs uuuuu
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize