I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize