my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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