i already hear my dad disowning me
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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