so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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