What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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