How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
