Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
if only i could text you this smell
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
