i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
