i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
