i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize