definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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