I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
