Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
