when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I accidentally burped into my bong.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
