Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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