It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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