College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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