I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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