We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
