They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
