is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
