How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
