No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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