a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just googled if crying burns calories
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
