he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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