He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
