in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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