i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
