Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
