took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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