I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
