What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
