pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
