I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
