Apparently you make a good broom.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
