So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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