Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
