He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
