party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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