I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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