At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
