so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
