Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize