I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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