He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
