I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize