so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
