im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize