the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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