Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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