Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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