Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
