How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
