but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't think brook has ever known best
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
