i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm really busy with my period
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