yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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