I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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