I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She even gives head with a lisp.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
