I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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