oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
