16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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