so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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