I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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