About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
