Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize